Ladies, Behave Yourselves

Okay, I admit it. Our family actually has a Bathroom Reader. There. Now you know what my life is really like. *exhale*

And I was reading it. BUT not in the bathroom! ~The living room, actually~ And in it I found some interesting quotes on etiquette... thought they were quite insightful. :)

"It's a great idea to file your fingernails in the street car, bus, or train. It's certainly making the most of your time. The noise of the filing drowns the unpleasant noise of the wheels. But it is the act of of an ill-bred person. Who but an ordinary person would allow her epithelium to fly all over? I think that one might as well scatter ashes after a cremation, around the neighborhood."
-Manners for Millions (1932)

"The perfect hostess will see to it that the works of male and female authors be properly separated on her bookshelves. There proximity, unless they happen to be married, should not be tolerated."
- Lady Gough's Etiquette (1863)

"No matter what the fashion may be, the gloves of a well-dressed woman are never so tight that her hands have the appearance of sausages."
-The New Etiquette (1940)

"A lady-punster is a most unpleasing phenomenon, and we would advise no young woman, however skilled she may be, to cultivate this kind of verbal talent."
- Collier's Cyclopedia of Commercial and Social Information (1882)

"Girls, never, never turn at a whistle, to see if you are wanted. A whistle is usually to call a dog."
- Good Manners (1934)

"A beautiful eyelash is an important adjunct to the eye. The lashes may be lengthened by trimming them occasionally in childhood Care should be taken that this trimming is done neatly and evenly, and especially that the points of he scissors do not penetrate the eye."
- Our Department (1881)

"Still less say of anything which you enjoy at the table 'I love melons,' 'I love peaches,' 'I adore grapes' - these are school-girl utterances. We love our friends. Love is an emotion, but not one of the palate. We like, we appreciate grapes, but we do not love them."
- The American Code of Manners (1880)

"Sending out a letter with a crooked, mangled or upside down stamp is akin to letting your lingerie straps show."
- Good Housekeeping's Book of Today's Etiquette (1965)

"Fingernails are another source of feminine excess. The woman who goes about her daily avocations with blood-red finger-nails is merely harking back to the days of savagery, when hanks smeared with blood were a sign of successful fighting."
- Things That Are Not Done (1937)

"Immoderate laughter is exceedingly unbecoming a lady; she may affect the dimple or the smile, but should carefully avoid any approximation to a horse-laugh."
- The Perfect Gentleman (1860)

"Large hats make little women look like mushrooms."
- Everyday Etiquette (1907)