Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Being Content While Unmarried

Lately I've noticed quite a few girls who seem to focus an enormous amount of their thoughts and actions on their future married life. They don't necessarily live for today. They're waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting for a future life that may start, whether within the next year, or the next decade. Most of them just like many of us, do not know.

While it is a good and wise choice to prepare for the probable event of getting married, having a home to take care of and children to raise, I believe that it is also good to enjoy and live out life as an unmarried young lady to it's fullest potential. This means being content with being "single": a helper to our parents, a daughter at home, etc. and being happy, satisfied, content with it. There will always be that God-given longing to be married and enjoy the blessing of children in any girl, but I think it is important not to get carried away with the idea that life will be some sort of perfect fantasy once we get married and have our own family. Yes, we hope God will be good in giving us those blessings, are excited about the prospect of them and can't wait to enjoy the fruit of his goodness, but remember ladies: he has also given us this time of singleness!

During this time, what should we as young girls be doing? Preparing for a family? Yes. Helping others? Yes. Furthering our education and Biblical worldview? Yes. Exploring areas of creativity? Yes. All of these activities are well worth your time. Allow me to expand on what I mean.

Preparing for a Family

Like the ant (Prov 6:6-8), we should be storing up "provisions" of experience in the areas of subjection (1 Peter 3:1), child rearing (Prov 22:6) and those that could be used not only in the role of a wife and mother, but in any lifestyle; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal 5:22-23). I'm sure you can think of many other areas of growth that would be helpful to work on.

Helping Others

During the time in a young lady's life that she is unmarried, it important for her to realize the impact she can have on those around her. Whether it is aiding a mother with many little ones, doing yard work for an elderly couple, grocery shopping for a disabled person or encouraging younger girls with a Bible study, one has a chance to greatly bless others than almost any time in her life. She is physically and emotionally capable of being of invaluable service to others, yet does not have a husband and children that would naturally put restrictions on her schedule. However, remember that according to Psalm 144:12, a daughter is to be the corner pillar in her home; therefore her main priority should be to serve her immediate family.

Furthering Education and Biblical Worldview

In opposition to what much of the world thinks, when a girl puts herself in subjection to God's mastermind plan for the family structure, she does not become dense and cooperative as an obedient work horse would. Rather, while she is serving her family and those around her, she chooses to educate herself with books and teachings that further her beliefs in the godly lifestyle she has committed herself to.

Exploring Areas of Creativity

While in this stage of singleness, I believe that it is a good thing to find hobbies that challenge the gifts God has given you, help you figure out areas you need to work on (such as patience :), as well as help you define areas that you enjoy. When I stopped doing gymnastics due to issues of modesty and lack of finances, I needed to find something that would fill up the hole. Over a good amount of time I became more involved in writing to pen pals, took up blogging, dipped a little in cake decorating, tried out scrap booking, learned to sew, started knitting, experimented in art and was enrolled in music lessons. While everything that I tried I didn't always like or keep pursuing, I realized there were areas in which I excelled in more than others, and areas that I needed to work on. Many of the hobbies I am participating in now give me a chance to help and minister to others, while also fulfill my sense of creativity.

As I have tried to cover just the main points of things an unmarried young lady can do, I certainly haven't covered everything. There are many good activites and projects that a girl can involve herself in; however, something to guard yourself against is the typical career that many girls choose to seek out. There are many reasons why. For instance, if you have a typical full time job you would probably be under these circumstances: you would not be spending very much time at home; therefore not be able to biblically serve your father, you would be in an enviroment where there would be much unprotected time spent with the opposite sex, you would meet many people who would not exactly have your best intrests in mind, and you would get used to, and maybe even eventually copy, ungodly attitudes or belifes (such as feministic, relitave truth, etc.) All of these things cater to discontenment of being that stay at home daughter, living out her unmarried years, under the protection of her father.

Remember, ladies, there is freedom in living out your life within God's principles, and though it may be hard at first, the more you live for Him the more joy it will bring you. Pray for me as I pray for you!

Note: While these beliefs are consistent with the Bible, I personally am not anyone's authority. If your authority wishes you to follow a different path, it is not my place to say you are in the wrong. If you are choosing to obey them, the Lord will bless you for it.


Rachel said...

Excellent Serenity! Just what I have been thinking as well! :)

I am now 23, and still "waiting", but I am happy and content with where the Lord has me at present, just serving my family. :) I agree completely, that we as single young ladies should not be filling our time and thoughts with marriage and sitting around feeling lonely. We need to fill our time just as you said, especially with our time with God. :)

Would you mind if I linked to this post on my blog dear? :) I always like to share encouraging posts (especially about this kind of topic) with my readers. :)

~Miss Rachel~

Lanita said...

Very well written.

Mrs. Noa

A.B.T said...

Very well written, and very helpful . ;)

Paige said...

I love your blog Miss Serenity!

I'm a 14 year old girl, and have found your blog though a friend of mine. I'm trying to be a young maiden for the Lord, and your blog has encouraged me greatly!

I look forward to coming back here and reading all your updates!

God bless!

Kayla said...

I wholeheartedly agree! Thanks for sharing this, Serenity. God has been working in my heart a lot lately in the area of contentment. Finding the fullness of joy in His presence is truly beautiful. I found a great quote recently by Jim Elliot in the book Shadow of the Almighty. (Talk about real, active patience! Jim Elliot was an amazing example.) He said, in a letter to the pre-Mrs. Elliot, "Let not our longing slay the appetite for our living." When I read that, it really struck me how looking forward to tomorrow so much can ruin our effectiveness today. I posted it up in my room so I can constantly be reminded of "today."

Lina said...

Great post! I love all the ideas you shared with us. I'm guilty of giving too much thought to my future life, so I very much appreciated your words.


brightlight08 said...

Thank you for this great encouragement Serenity!
I always enjoy your posts! :-)

Kalina said...

I enjoyed the post! Sometimes I wonder if time spent pursuing crafty hobbies is wasted, and it was nice to be encouraged to use my creative abilities. :-) God bless.


Dawn said...

Excellent, balanced and wise. You have a good head on you. What a talented writer you're becoming as well

Mia said...

Lovely post, Serenity!
I totally agree with you--as unmarried young women, we should use our time productively to serve and grow in our relationship with the Lord :) I do look forward to the day when I can enter into a courtship relationship, but until that time, I'm a helper at home!

Thanks for the encouragement :)


Miss Serenity said...

Thank you for the sweet comments, everyone! Yes, please feel free to share. I will try to get back to everyone, but as we have gotten rid of our internet service, I don't have a lot of time on the computer! I do appreciate and enjoy reading your opinions, though. I will check in from the library on occasion. :)


Sarah H said...

I think it is very important for girls to have goals apart from marriage. That doesn’t mean they have to go to college or have a career but you should have things you are working toward so that you are not just sitting around waiting.

For me, my goals are to write books. For my sister Rose it is making blankets for children in need.

Great post! This is really something that girls need to think more about.

Megan.Margaret said...

First time I have come across your blog, and I wholeheartedly agree! Waiting is a hard thing to do, but so necessary. If you can't be patient now, you certainly can't be patient in married life!

The Feminine Woman said...

Hi there Miss Serenity!

I just found your blog, and I'm so glad I did!

I completely agree that we shouldn't just be thinking about marriage and feeling lonely as well.

After all, focusing on marriage (or a lack of it) won't necessarily make you happy or more likely to be married. Men don't like women who pressure them in to marriage.

Thanks a lot for this post. Very encouraging!

Stephanie said...

Thank you so much for taking the time to encourage us fellow daughters with truth and wisdom! It's wonderful to be reminded of the importance of serving the Lord during this stage of life. All that we do now is ultimately in preparation for our Lord's return; and if the Lord wills for us to marry- we'll be prepared to apply all that we've learned during this stage to marriage!

May God bless you!